Excerpt from Rescued by Andrea Karin Nelson

Rescued was commissioned, developed, and produced by Youth Theatre Northwest

The pedestal room. BOOKER stands prominently displayed on a pedestal. His body comprises a large, leather-bound book of fairytales. Any parts of him not made up of the Book are dressed to the nines. CINDERELLA sulks on.

BOOKER
Greetings, Cinderella. Having a good morning, are we?

CINDERELLA
Book-er. Ugh.

BOOKER
I take it the princess is not pleased?

CINDERELLA
Aurora’s on my case again. Who does she think she is?

BOOKER
Your boss?

CINDERELLA
Like she'd ever let me forget.

BOOKER
And what, pray tell, did Madam do that’s so abhorrent?

AURORA (off)
Madam is simply trying to help Princess Cinderella by teaching her humility and grace.

PRINCESS AURORA enters with a sweeping flourish of matriarchal indignation. Draped in colorful scarves and jangling jewelry, she has a sophisticated folksiness about her. She is a presence, to say the least.

BOOKER
Greetings, Princess Aurora.

AURORA
Booker. A pleasure, as always . . . Cinderella.

Cinderella responds with an eye roll, a shrug, or other "I'm-pretending-not-to-care-but-I-really-really-do" sort of gesture.

AURORA
Your aura is a bit cloudy, dear. Perhaps we should continue this discussion when you feel more centered.

CINDERELLA
I don’t see why we have to have this discussion at all. (To Booker.) She’s putting me on probation.

AURORA
Growth opportunity plan.

CINDERELLA
Just because you rebranded it, doesn’t mean it’s not still probation.

AURORA
The humble warrior bows before the crater of possibility.

CINDERELLA
I don’t even know what that means.

AURORA
t means if you don’t get your act together, you’re out of PHP.

CINDERELLA
Because of Ariel?

BOOKER
We understand the situation was compli—

CINDERELLA
I don't see what her belly flop into the giant ocean in the sky has to do with me.

BOOKER
Cinderella!

CINDERELLA
Look, I feel bad about what happened to her, but it’s not like I pushed her off the cliff.

AURORA
Of course not. But you didn’t exactly go out of your way to make her feel safe leaving.

CINDERELLA
She wanted to leave. She asked for help leaving.

AURORA
The chasm between what one wants and what one is prepared for can be wide.

CINDERELLA
So, what, I wasn’t nice enough or something? 

AURORA
You told her—and I quote—

Aurora gestures to Booker, who flips to the relevant page and reads from the record.

BOOKER
“Don’t be such a crybaby.”

CINDERELLA
She wouldn’t stop slobbering about, “coral this and seafoam that.” It was ridiculous.

Aurora indicates to Booker to continue.

BOOKER
“There are only two ways out of here, Princess. With me, or into the sea. Now put on your big girl pants and let’s go.” 

CINDERELLA
You wanted me to let her cry on that cliff until high tide? The sea witch would have come after us both and you know it. We were supposed to stand there like sitting ducks while she threw crystals into the ocean? Who cares if she’s imprisoned, as long as her feelings are validated.

AURORA
It’s not only Ariel. (To Booker) Princess Jasmine.

BOOKER
Abandoned on the side of the road after a magic carpet crash. 

CINDERELLA
She sprained an ankle, she was fine. I can’t help it she couldn’t drive her own getaway vehicle. 

AURORA
Thumbelina.

BOOKER
Passed out from exhaustion trying to keep up with you.

CINDERELLA
She was so slow.

AURORA
Her legs are two inches tall! I won’t go on, but the list certainly does. Ariel is the proverbial straw, and she’s surely the most tragic, but she’s not the first.

CINDERELLA
I’m not all touchy-feely, who cares? What other operative can swim a moat without coming up for air or pick a dungeon lock in fifteen seconds flat?

AURORA
Your physical aptitude for the job is not in question. You have some of the most stunning raw talent I’ve ever seen in a rescuer. Which is why I’ve given you as many chances as I have. Unfortunately, your ineptitude for the emotional nuances of the job is impeding your value to the organization.

CINDERELLA
“Emotional nuances?”

AURORA
When was the last time you completed a rescue mission—

Cinderella starts to answer.

AURORA
Without abandoning the princess, or having her jump into the sea.

CINDERELLA
Okay, the jumping into the sea thing only happened one time.

AURORA
I’m afraid you’ve become a liability.